Thank You

The Merriam-Webster dictionary describes a caretaker as one who gives physical or emotional care and support. Of course, you are a caretaker if you are employed to care for others or are taking care of your elderly parents. But it's also important to realize that you are also a caretaker if you are a wife, husband, or a parent. Personally, I've never been in this role, but certainly it's a similar concept to needing to put your own mask on before you can help others. This is the same concept that I must follow as an empathetic person who wants to do all she can for others.

Something I've observed with parents, husbands, wives, and those caring for their elderly parents is that they often are too busy prioritizing all the things that need to be done to prioritize themselves. I know you're thinking, 'Oh, well, I have no choice but to prioritize everything else because I have someone else depending on me.' The simple fact is that person will no longer be able to depend on you if you aren't putting your own mask on first.

How do you put your own mask on as a caregiver? The brain is an amazing organ, as you know, but how it works is that if you aren't paying attention to it, then you will continually find it in fight or flight, meaning it constantly is auto-piloting behaviors, habits, and reactions because that's all it knows how to do. As a caregiver, you have to take time to get yourself out of that fight and flight space, so that you can experience a more balanced set of hormones, therefore being able to care for your person in a more impactful and less burnt-out way.

Tip 1: Use Stress Regulation Techniques:

• Prayer is my favorite way to destress because I know once I've said it to God, he is not managing the problem, and all I have to do is put in a bit of extra work to manage my emotions.

• Brain dumping: As a caregiver, you likely have a million and one things on your mind on a daily basis. Take 5-10 minutes before bed to write everything down on paper that you are thinking. This will seem tough at first, so I suggest saying everything out loud that you have to do, then write it down. What this does is it helps all the extra stimuli in your brain out of your head and into a safe place on paper.

• Hand interlock: This is an incredibly simple technique that interlaces your fingertips and immediately balances your nervous system. You can do this all day as you are beginning to feel overwhelmed.

Tip 2: Ask & Accept Support:

As a single person with no responsibilities other than myself and my dog, I struggle asking for help because I don't want to seem irresponsible, but I am realizing I need it. So, if I need it, how much more so do you as a caregiver need it? A million times more, but I also understand that it may not be easy for you to ask for help, but you have to ask and accept. Again, I understand that you don't want to impose on anyone's life; I feel the same or put your responsibility on others, but we were created with an innate need for social support and community. Use it to your advantage, especially as a caregiver.

Tip 3: Give Yourself A Break:

As a caregiver, schedule break times to decompress. Again, I'm sure you're thinking I am crazy for saying this, but it's a necessity to take a moment to yourself to breathe, ground, and relax. If you aren't able to do these things, then you will feel unclear on prioritizing your next steps, which leads right into overwhelm.

Most importantly, please know that you aren't alone! Even if you aren't close to family and friends, I am 1010% sure that you can find a caregiver support group within your area. This is a worldwide issue: caregiver burnout. The goal isn't just to ensure that you are aware that you are experiencing it, but that you are given the tools and support necessary to cope with the stress.

Journal Prompts For Caretakers:

• What are all of your responsibilities?

• Why are your responsibilities important?

• How do you accomplish your responsibilities?

• Is the way you accomplish these responsibilities healthy to your mental and emotional health? Does it cause you more stress or less?

• How can you prioritize yourself so that you can accomplish your responsibilities with a decreased sense of overwhelm and burnout? (Don't just say idk on this one, brainstorm. One of the biggest ways a person can do this is by asking for and accepting support).

Lastly, please know you are loved and thought about often.

Yours Truly,

Makayla