Your Mental Creates Your Reality

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We all want to feel good, sleep well, eat even better, laugh hard, and love endlessly – all the things. However, our mental can come in like Dorothy's tornado and wipe all that out. The intention will always be to improve mental health to accomplish all the necessary and exciting goals, whether it's grocery shopping, cooking, running a business, hitting the gym, or simply getting out of bed. We all just want to feel capable. I'm sure you're thinking, "That's me, but I don't know how." Well, as corny as it sounds, you can start next week, tomorrow, or even today with just one step.

Before I share some foundational ways to improve your mental health, I want you to know something about me. I'm not pushy; I just don't believe in excuses. No matter how complex a situation is, boundaries can genuinely and quickly correct it. Many people may find this perspective harsh, considering feelings could get hurt but if you're not acting maliciously and it's not morally degrading to God, the person, or yourself, let go of possible hurt and set necessary boundaries immediately. Stop making excuses for not taking steps to help your mental health. It may require commitment, sweat, and tears, but I promise you'll fall in love with the new you. Let's have a wee bit of story time.

I didn't always think like this. For years, I thrived on "I'm not ready. I'll do it tomorrow", "I am too busy to focus", and "there is way too much going on right now". The last one was my biggest excuse because it was true. My life was overwhelming – I was homeless, hungry, and frustrated nine times out of ten. You're probably thinking, "that sounds legitimate," and yes, it was a very legitimate excuse, but it was still a justification for why I couldn't improve my mental health. Every justification can be corrected with hard work and dedication, even when you're overwhelmed. You just need to prioritize and commit.

Some years later, I wasn't homeless, but I still had some intense legitimate excuses for not focusing on my mental health, until I became so suicidal that I had to do something.

What did I do? Well, I changed my mindset. I started learning about my brain health and how the thoughts I chose, like "I'm not good enough" or "I can't experience love," dictated my perception of myself and others. Basically, I was unintentionally putting myself in situations because of things I believed about myself and others. And you know the rest, "you reap what you sow" (Galatians 6:7). Now, to the juicy part – what did I do to change my mindset?

1. I changed how I viewed myself and started actively practicing self-love, self-compassion, and self-acceptance.

2. I challenged the unhealthy belief systems causing my unhealthy brain and dysregulated nervous systems.

3. I started working with my brain instead of against it.

Let's start with one, and we can chat about two and three another time. Self-compassion is foundational to personal growth because it nurtures a healthier mindset, guiding us through challenges and setbacks, fostering what we can become. A growth mindset is a powerful attitude that screams, "I can do this! I am capable, and success is within reach." It fuels resilience. It's a mindset that acknowledges failures and setbacks but sees them as opportunities for improvement.

It shuts down that loud, arrogant, and irritating voice saying: "You can't, you won't, you wish."

As our mindset evolves, so does the very structure of our brain – the pathways that dictate how we talk to ourselves, develop skills, achieve goals, and feel motivated. become healthier and stronger. It's like a baby monstera plant. It isn't extremely needy, but it is very specific. It needs water every 1-2 weeks depending on the sunlight. Our brain is capable of doing small and big things automatically, but to thrive, it has specific needs such as water, food, minerals, and emotional support. Our brains can flourish when exposed to the support and warmth of self-compassion. Our mindsets can thrive. Conversely, neglecting self-compassion is like not caring about the needs of your plant baby.

Self-compassion is the foundational step forward.

It's common to hear folks express a desire to address their trauma, yet without self-compassion, expect to be halted. You can't delve into your trauma effectively until you've cultivated compassion for yourself and your mistakes. This compassionate approach is what builds resilience and sets the stage for a healthy mindset, propelling you further on your personal development journey.

Quiz: Measure Your Self-Compassion

Instructions: Answer the following questions honestly to assess your level of self-compassion.

1. How do you typically speak to yourself when facing a mistake or failure?

• A) I offer understanding and encouragement.

• B) I criticize myself but try to find a positive perspective.

• C) I'm harsh on myself and often feel unworthy.

2. In challenging times, how likely are you to acknowledge your own feelings and give yourself support?

• A) I prioritize self-care and give myself the comfort I need.

• B) I acknowledge my feelings but struggle to provide self-support.

• C) I tend to ignore my emotions and soldier on.

3. When reflecting on your past, how forgiving are you towards your mistakes?

• A) I view mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow.

• B) I try to forgive but sometimes struggle to let go.

• C) I often dwell on past mistakes and find it hard to forgive myself.

Scoring:

• For every A, assign 3 points.

• For every B, assign 2 points.

• For every C, assign 1 point.

Results:

• 9-10 points: Your self-compassion game is strong! You're nurturing a mindset that breeds growth and resilience.

• 6-8 points: You're on the right track but may benefit from enhancing self-compassion. Recognize your strengths and work on being gentler with yourself during challenges.

• 3-5 points: Self-compassion is an area for improvement. Consider exploring ways to be more understanding and supportive of yourself, especially during tough times.

Remember, self-compassion is a journey, not a destination. Use these insights to guide your path toward a more compassionate and growth-oriented mindset.

What are two things you need to do to make the change you're hoping to see in yourself? Let me know!

Love,

Makaylaa